kuro kuro ng isang binibini

Dear zeggy, I'm writing this letter to you at work for some reason because I have to tell you how you have changed my brother -- your dad -- and the rest of the family. First, let me tell you about your father. Your dad was conceived at the time when my mom -- your nana had problems with her thyroid and consequently doctors discovered she had cancer. They (your nana and tata) were worried about the pregnancy and that Noh-noh might become a sickly child. Because of all the worries and the uncertainties they had with Noh-noh, your dad (for better or worse) became their numero uno concern. If he would get so much as a sniffle they would be beside themselves with worry. I remember watching him asleep on my parents' bed and he looked so peaceful. He was perfect. The way he would purse his lips or wrinkle his brow, even the way he yawned was adorable. We all fell in love with him. Because he was the youngest in the family and the youngest among all my cousins everyone doted on him. I

do you have any idea how difficult it is to pretend i have work to do when in truth i don't?! gosh the things i have to do in this world to get by. that just goes to show how low one can go -- truly, incredibly, undeniably LOW! god help me but it's another hour or so before i can stop pretending. arrrgh!

i just turned 30 last month -- a milestone birthday if anyone wants to know. a fact which i keep reminding my friends -- only so i can get away with most things -- like being late for a dinner date. it'll get old in a few weeks though. i'm not writing this to get maudlin about the years gone by. in point of fact i'm looking forward to the next decade or so of my life. my intent is to look forward and not back. i hope that from this moment on i will take on things with more enthusiasm and fervor -- whatever that entails anyway. my last decade was lackluster in terms of real passion. so i intend to have fun in my thirties -- well here's hoping anyway.